This year our family welcomed an extra guest who joined Seth in coming from Brazil to the mountains of western Maryland.  All other invitees knew something our extra guest didn’t know, namely that she would receive his proposal of marriage,

On the day before the holiday, my soon-to-be daughter-in-law and Seth went for a walk to nearby Deep Creek Lake where (while his brother and his nephew hid in the woods with a camera) Seth proposed. 

We probably have 100 photos of that moment, and I will resist sharing them.  Dani (Danielle) said yes, and we spent the rest of the day…

Celebrating!

Not too many days ago, and surprisingly late, it began to feel like November.  The trees are leaf-less, revealing the traffic on the other side of the Charles River from the apartment I will soon be vacating; my local Mr. & Mrs. Cardinal seemed to have moved south; and heads are snuggling into winter hats.

With so much amiss in the world, it’s even more important (while overeating in the company of loved ones) to take a few moments to express gratitude.  Thanks to all of you for continuing on this journey with me.

Happy Thanksgiving.

There are many things I take as a given:  the love of my children and grandchildren, the beauty of nature, the joy of music, my close friendships and more. 

And there are many things I worry about:  our divided country, global warming, world peace and more.

One worry that never occurred to me is that the building where I happily live would be in danger of collapsing.  And that its inhabitants would be forced to evacuate, having been given 4-6 weeks’ notice.

It was discovered some months ago that there were structural strength issues due to errors made during the building’s construction sixty years ago. But no one thought that it couldn’t be remedied with little disruption, albeit expensively.

But move I must—for at least a year.  And by early next month, I hope to be settled “temporarily” in a place chosen on a week’s notice.  There is no view of the river, no outside green space, and no place to park my car.

This would be fun for no one—it’s just a little harder at 80-something.

The Biology of Kindness, a new book by Immaculata De Vivo and Daniel Lumera, is a must-read for all 80-somethings (and everyone else).  I am not a bona fide book reviewer, but trust me, read it!

This blog post is based on the book’s section on telomeres, the “DNA structures at the ends of chromosomes that protect them from damage and keep the genetic material of a cell intact.” As cells reach the end of their life cycles, the replacement cells have shorter telomeres.  Longer telomeres are associated with overall health and long-lived individuals. 

A healthy lifestyle helps keep telomeres long.  Eat healthily, don’t smoke, exercise—you know the drill.

Save your telemores!

I was late coming to love classical music.  I remember my mother playing Peter and the Wolf on our record player when I was a child, and I was just not interested. 

But things changed somewhere along the way, and I admit that I now know zero about popular music.  (Well, I could name a few world-famous stars.) 

Our journalist son Seth referred to us in print as his “classical-music-loving-parents”.  And although our CD collection was not century specific, we did have a lot of Mozart and his contemporaries.

So, imagine my delight when I learned that medical studies have shown that listening to Mozart (and Strauss) has a positive effect on heart rate and blood pressure. 

And the single best piece of music for your health, according to researchers?

Mozart’s Symphony #40 in G Minor.

I am fortunate to be able to audit classes at the university where I worked for so long.  Obviously, I don’t join small seminars or any class where the instructor doesn’t permit guests.

This fall, I am attending a history class with three outstanding professors.  The class is small enough that students (but not auditors) can respond to questions or make comments.  There is one student in this class whose comments/responses are so insightful that I am always eager to hear what he has to say.

The other day while waiting for class to start, this 86-year old with grandchildren his age went up to the student to compliment him on his always on-target comments.  At first, he seemed a bit taken aback.  Then his face lit up with an ear-to-ear grin.

And I returned to my seat.

This is not a political blog, but I can’t help but note that whatever your political views are, this whole election process has been stressful.  And we also can’t help but be saddened by all the people who are losing their homes to fire at both ends of our country.  Not to mention the challenges people are enduring due to the recent hurricanes and the destructive flooding that followed.

So, this is a good time for a lot of deep breaths, for looking to the positive things in our lives, for nurturing the loving relationships that we have and for remembering that we have a purpose.

Since 1989 when a wonderful neighbor of ours moved out of state, she and I have talked every Sunday at ten o’clock unless one of us is away.  (Yup, for 35 years!)

We have shared our kids’ issues from college choices to mate choices.  We have attended each other’s children’s weddings.  And now, we share our grandchildren’s college adventures.

My friend is seven years younger than I, and as sharp as a tack.  So, when I saw her name on an incoming call last Saturday, my first thought was that something was amiss.

Turns out that nothing was wrong.  She just thought it was Sunday.

Made my day!

Except for Thanksgiving (which I love), November is #1 on my disliked-months-list.  First, I dread the end of daylight savings time.  I know that I will adjust to less daylight, but that doesn’t help at this moment. In addition to shorter days, the skies are grayer in November. And, of course, the gardens are tired and the trees are bare. 

But this year’s November is bringing an election that I fear.  I hate that our country is so divided, and I worry that no matter what the outcome, the transition will not be easy.

Fingers crossed that I am wrong.

In her recent book, The Connection Cure, author Julia Hotz suggests a new approach for doctors.  Don’t ask your patients, “What’s the matter with you?”

Rather ask “What matters to you?”

Hotz asserts that our country practices pill-based medicine (not a bad thing in itself), but that there are other approaches to wellness that our doctors don’t typically prescribe. 

She suggests that we talk more about social health or social fitness, health that comes from "connections".  She advocates for “social prescribing.”  In other words, get moving, spend some time in nature, with art, performing service and/or other activities that she calls “belonging.”

Absence of illness is not the same as presence of wellness.  Purpose, optimism, mindfulness, relationships are part of social health.

What matters to you?