In 2023, the United States’ ranking in the United Nations World Happiness Report fell out of the top 20 countries for the first time since measuring began in 2012.  The U.S. dropped from 15^th happiest country in 2022 to 23^rd  happiest in 2023. Even more troubling, for those under age 30, the U.S. now ranks 62^nd in the world in happiness.

However, for people aged 60 or older, the U.S. ranked in the top ten.  That cohort also reported feeling less lonely and more socially connected than the under 30 population. 

The happiest country in the world for the last seven years has been Finland, possibly because as Outside’s website says, “…work-life balance and state-funded education, childcare, and health care are crucial to the population’s overall positive frame of mind.” And according to Frank Martela, a Finnish philosopher and psychology researcher, Finnish people are happy because they have a strong sense of community and relatedness, do good deeds for other people, and find a clear purpose for themselves.”

Too bad it’s so dark there in the winter…

In my 20’s I loved being tan.  I admit to sitting on a park bench on my lunch hour to catch a few rays at high noon (and I was not alone in that effort).  I never succumbed to the foil sun reflector fad, but I did everything else to ensure my summer-long tan and my stocking-free legs.

Sun-caused wrinkles was not a concern then, and I have paid the price for that lack of information.  However, until now, I could still enjoy my regular walks, hat on and sunscreen where needed. But I am learning that heat waves are hard on us 80-somethings, and so I must accept my phone’s health app scolding me for not walking as much as usual.

The upside—more time for getting through the complete novels of Tara French.

As of today, it has been 7.5 weeks since my last medical appointment.

Normally, when I get into my car, it expects to head to one of two medical locations. Earlier this spring, I had so many appointments in one week that I accidentally “let” my car drive to the wrong location and barely made it to the correct place without missing my appointment.

I am grateful for my good medical care because no one I know my age has nothing wrong.  But I don’t like the feeling that going to a doctor is my job!

My extra free time has been delightful—more walking, more writing, more reading—all good. But like all good things, this too comes to an end. In the next four weeks, I have five medical appointments.

Just part of being 80-something.

I grew up on a street with lots of kids.  Among its many advantages, my best friend’s family got a TV way before we did. 

Except in the winter, we were outside after dinner playing the games that children played back then.  One of my clearest memories is of practicing the piano with a clock above the keyboard so that the minute my required half hour was over, I could join the gang outside in whatever activity was underway.

According to Jonathan Haidt in his new best-selling book The Anxious Generation, childhood has been phone-based rather than play-based since 2012.  Haidt reports that children spend approximately five hours a day on their phones, mostly on social media and to a lesser extent on games.  Haidt asserts that this is a cause of increased mental illness among children.

Obviously, there is another side to this story, but still…

It’s troubling. 

Birthdays are complicated.  It’s part “how lucky I am to be here!” and part “how can I be this old?!”  

I love receiving birthday greetings.  But a birthday card like this, “You know you are getting old when your boobs hang so low you can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time” is just plain offensive.   And the greeting card industry needs to hear about this.  A few efforts to combat ageism have produced cards like “You’re at the age when you realize they were all wrong about this age.” Or “Celebrating you never gets old.” A great improvement...

In a statement to AARP, Hallmark said it does have age-positive cards and is shifting its focus to a tone that “aligns with what people want to feel today — thankful, appreciative, wise and accomplished to be ‘getting older’ ”

Ageist birthday cards are reportedly best sellers in the multibillion dollar greeting card industry, so they aren’t going away anytime soon. 

But I won’t be sending you one.

As a niece of three extra-tall uncles and the sister of a 6’2” brother, I was not surprisingly the tallest girl in my high school class at 5’10”.  (And no, I did not play basketball.)

Also not surprising, my two grandsons are taller than their above-average-tall father. Not sure of the height of the older (6’2-ish I think), but the younger, finishing his junior year of high school is now 6’5”. 

Pictured above, a shorter-than-I used-to-be-me with two very handsome quite tall young men. 

I just had to share this!

(Apologies--I have failed to get the photo to be smaller so you will have to scroll across.)

Have you heard the joke about leaders who have three boxes on their desks:  IN, OUT, and TOO HARD?

In 2024, TOO HARD boxes must be overflowing.  At 80-something, I probably won’t see many Too Hard problems get solved.  But here’s a problem that we might tackle now—our workforce.

There are five generations in today’s workplace.  The Silent Generation, Baby Boomers, Generation X, Millennials and Generation Z. However, Generation Z has 3,000,000 fewer people than projected and that could mean an insufficient future workforce. On the other hand, some members of earlier generations want to (or must) work longer than anticipated. We need to find the easiest way for generations to work together. That requires tapping the best of each generation’s communication methods. 

Older generations worked face-to-face or communicated by telephone and typewriter. More recently, email and texting became the preferred methods.  Today, the Millennial generation prefers texting and social media.

When all five generations are working side by side, communicating among them should not have to be in a TOO HARD box.

Lately I’ve noticed that I am talking out loud when the only person in the room is me.  Not often, but not so seldom either.  And it’s never a conversation because no one is there to answer. 

For example, as I peer into the mirror—"Where did that new wrinkle come from?” Or as I stand in front of the refrigerator, “I was sure I had another avocado.”

It turns out that there are people who study talking to one’s self. Ethan Kross, a professor of psychology at the University of Michigan and the author of “Chatter,” says that talking to yourself in midlife is an “understudied phenomenon” and not uncommon.

It seems that it’s not a problem unless you are muttering out loud to yourself when you are not alone. So far, I’m OK on that.

And here’s a suggestion: if you find yourself talking out loud to yourself in a public place.  Stick those little earbuds in and everyone will think you are having a conversation with someone.

Excellent advice.

Long-time subscribers to 80-something.com know that I tend not to write about topics that are especially controversial. Today I am making an exception.

It’s almost three years now since my husband Peter determined that his Parkinson’s Disease had diminished his quality of life to a point where he didn’t want to live.  After consulting with me and our children and taking extra time to live with his decision, he decided to end his life by voluntarily stopping eating and drinking.

Medical aid in dying was (and is) not legal in Massachusetts and therefore he and his loved ones endured the worst eight days of our lives.  I realize that for religious and other reasons, many people object to medical aid in dying.  I honor their beliefs, but ask that they don’t impose them upon others, and so I have been hoping that my state would join the ten others (and the District of Columbia) that permit medical assistance in dying under very strict conditions and with very detailed safeguards to ensure that it is used appropriately.

I write about this today to urge everyone to think about the inevitable and to take ownership of their end-of-life while they have a choice.  I ask that 80-something readers listen to Compassion and Choices' wonderful (and short) song, This Is Your Show:  https://www.compassionandchoices.org/this-is-your-show