(Warning to readers under sixty: You might want to skip this preview of another indignity of growing older.)
Standing in front of a floor-to-ceiling mirror in my exercise tights while waiting for a slow elevator, I noticed that my backside is now pancake flat. How could this have happened?! I spent so many years trying to tame my rear wiggle and now that it’s gone, I want it back.
Even worse, there are folds in my skin where my butt meets my thighs that I would use to re-inflate my behind, if that were an option. Those little wrinkles that babies have that show how much space they can grow into? They’re back again, but heading in the wrong direction.
And while I’m on the subject of my deteriorating body--naah, we don’t have all day…