A colleague with eight and eleven-year-old sons tells me she hopes 
that, when her boys grow up, she and her husband will have as close
a relationship with them as we seem to have with our grown 
children.  Close? Yes. Seamless?  Of course not.  Here are a few
things I try to keep in mind:

*There is no such thing as a perfect parent.
*There is no such thing as a perfect child.
*Never take credit for how children turn out.
*Never take blame for how children turn out.
*Eliminate "should" from your vocabulary.
*Whenever possible, wait for grown children to call you.
*If you can't stand waiting, send a two word email, or, even 
better, a text message that says "home safe?" or "all is well?"
*Ignore these rules if they don't work for you